Intimacy - that word has remained fresh within my spirit for some time now. I can't seem to escape it. The Lord keeps drawing me to a deeper level with Him and, honestly, it kinda scares me. I'm not talking about a fearful-being-afraid fear and really not even a reverential type of fear (although healthy doses of this is a must-have at all times). The fear I describe is really one of the unknown - you know, the times where you KNOW you are supposed to do something yet you cannot see beyond the 'right now', much less the outcome of your obedience but yet you are so drawn to this level of deepness in the Lord, you can't help but obey.
Oswald Chambers once wrote something about being obedient to the Lord and how that, when you are obedient to Jesus, it really doesn't cost you anything when done in the right heart. That heart, of course, is one of sheer love for God! Chambers goes on to say how your obedience to the Lord, done in love for Him, may well prove costly to those around you. I find this interesting in that Jesus spoke clearly about the costs of true discipleship. Luke 14:25-34 is so eye opening! Looking at verses 25-27,"ONE DAY WHEN LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE WERE WALKING ALONG WITH HIM, JESUS TURNED AND TOLD THEM, 'ANYONE WHO COMES TO ME BUT REFUSES TO LET GO OF FATHER, MOTHER, SPOUSE CHILDREN, BROTHERS, SISTERS - YES, EVEN ONE'S OWN SELF - CAN'T BE MY DISCIPLE. ANYONE WHO WON'T SHOULDER HIS OWN CROSS AND FOLLOW BEHIND ME CAN'T BE MY DISCIPLE."
Your love walk with Jesus may indeed cost you relationships with those closest to you, But as verse 33 reads, "BUT IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO TAKE WHAT IS DEAREST TO YOU, WHETHER PLANS OR PEOPLE, AND KISS IT GOODBYE, YOU CAN'T BE MY DISCIPLE." I also noticed the part in verse 27 about following BEHIND Jesus. If He isn't in the lead, we are walking in self once again. Discipleship is a training process...learning to follow the leader, Jesus. I don't want to be one of those folks who were merely following Him, walking along with the crowd. I want to be on the hem of His garment, even walking in His footsteps, with an echoing heart of "Yes, Lord".
Learning to be intimate with Christ is weird. I say this honestly because I can't think of another word! It's a foreign thing, something unfamiliar to me naturally. My flesh fears rejection but my spirit knows better. I cry out to Him in reckless abandon, not worrying about my mascara running or how my eyes get all red and puffy after tears not even worrying about my nose getting all snotty and stuffed up to the point of not even sounding like myself anymore. And perhaps, than might be the point anyway...giving up any and all claim to my-SELF and instead seeking His heart to replace my own.
Back to the intimacy part...the word intimate reflects a willingness of oneself to reveal secrets, dreams, your past, your present and your future; bring out the inner most part of yourself and revealing it to someone else. Without trust, this is difficult, if not impossible. And then, that feeling of vulnerability, an inadequacy of sorts. I recall the book titled, "Naked and Not Ashamed" that TD Jakes wrote many years ago. The title itself is worth a thousand words. That stripping away of all the falsehoods and all the distance we keep between ourselves and the heart of God has to go. God longs for our fellowship. He is our Daddy, our Heavenly Father, who desires relationship with us. I think He grows weary of the arms length distance we keep Him from our hearts.
Oh, make no mistake God knows us, He knows our hearts and He is not fooled by words from our mouths instead of truth from our hearts. I think what He wants from us is that willingness of each person to reveal themselves to the Father. All the good, the bad, the ugly - He already knows its there but to take than step in willing revelation of our hearts to Him, captures His attention! Purity is found in the only motivation being that of self-sacrifice, throwing it all out there for Him to love anyway.
I close with this scripture from Isaiah 66:1-2 (the Message Bible) "GOD'S MESSAGE: HEAVEN'S MY THRONE, EARTH IS MY FOOTSTOOL. WHAT SORT OF HOUSE COULD YOU BUILD FOR ME? WHAT HOLIDAY SPOT RESERVE FOR ME? I MADE ALL THIS! I OWN THIS! GOD'S DECREE. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING I'M LOOKING FOR: A PERSON SIMPLE AND PLAIN, REVERENTLY RESPONSIVE TO WHAT I SAY."
Oh, Jesus, make it my heart cry today!
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