Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I smell like a sheep...

Now, personally I like the smell of sheep. Shepherding a flock of sheep will do that, you know! Anyone who has sheep knows exactly what I am talking about - that whiff of barn, hay, grain, lanolin, dirt, pee and poop all rolled up into a unique "sheepy odor". For me, it is a comforting smell. If you spend time at all with sheep, you get to know them, their personalities, their likes and dislikes, their bad habits and, of course, their name. At the farm these days, we are preparing for a limited breeding season, Lord willing, and have been doing hands-on moving of the flock into their respective groups. So, I smell like sheep and I am OK with that.


The other day, I read a blog note where someone described their Pastor as 'smelling like sheep' and I thought "how cool" to receive that kind of assessment. So why do most folks run from that description? I can only surmise that smelling like sheep means you have to spend more than 5 minutes with someone, get to know them and their personalities, know what they like & dislike, to see some bad habits all the while still loving them anyway. Hmm...sounds a lot like God, doesn't it? :)


This knowing someone also implies a level of sameness, something many people don't like either. God's grace really has put us all on the same playing field, no one person being above another. To have that kind of exaltation, merely resurrects the hierarchy that Christ died to destroy, complete with all its bondage, chains and death. All throughout the New Testament, I read about how we are lift up one another, encourage one another, bear one another's burdens. Whatever they go through, we go through it with them - they smell alike - hence the true meaning of "forsaking not the assembly of ourselves" is revealed. Encouragement abounds when real relationship is present.


Days recently have been those of frustration...not sure exactly why but perhaps just a sense of coming change. I have been really frustrated at church for several months and seemingly unable to 'see' a bigger picture, although still praying God will be allowed out of the charismatic box we have placed Him in and for no other reason aside from loving Him, giving Him honor He alone is due, glory and praise. I am tired of controlled atmospheres, timed worship and politically centered messages. It seems almost suffocating at times just to be "in church". I am growing more convinced every day that the Body of Christ is not contained to four walls and perhaps those who think otherwise are just too comfortable in the man-pleasing arena of self-promotion and BigMe.littleyou thinking.


I long for the days of a cutting word, spoken with a humble heart of knowing what its like to have 'been there'. Too many times of late, there are more references to what "i" have done than to Jesus (and that "i" is lower case for a reason). After all, Christ has already done all that needs doing, right? Wasn't HE the one who said, "It is finished."?? Why does man insist on calling attention to their famous works of the hour rather than the only lasting work, which was completed on Calvary by Jesus Christ? Oh, God... help me keep a tender heart towards You and towards others...help me to see myself and others as You do, through Your eyes.


There is a precious woman in church who always tells me how she is praying for my husband. I don't doubt that she is praying and, bless her heart, she told me the other day how she was praying for my husband to get in church. So, I'm trying to smile and thank her, all the while wondering why people think being in church is somehow that is going to solve everything? The way things stand right now, I hesitate to invite anyone to church and that, in itself isn't right either. I guess I'm afraid the Holy Spirit won't be allowed in or perhaps the feeling I need to apologize for how loud the music is or how hyped everything tends to get. Oh, Lord please help me!


I really believe the call from Jesus for us to really KNOW Him goes much deeper than we may have ever imagined. How can we know someone without spending time with them? The Word (the Bible) is becoming more and more precious to me, its the life blood I need for sustaining me during these times. I want to know Jesus, I mean really know Him, and He is right there always. I am so relieved that He knows me intimately and loves me anyway! So often, I fall short of spending time with Jesus and He is always waiting for me when I do. Thank you, Lord, for being so faithful!


Teach me your ways, Oh God...