I am thankful for the fact that I don't have do any one of these things. Funny how I find myself so easily worked up and stressed over the things that aren't done but, in looking at their true importance, I find them lacking any real value. Honestly, I grow tired of all the work I seem to put in such fruitless tasks these days. Questioning truth and value for what is real brings little satisfaction in my consumerist displays of the holiday 'spirit'.
A couple of weeks ago, my neighbor was killed in a car accident. I had to perform my first funeral and truly experienced God's grace in it all. Honestly, this was purely Jesus taking over and walking each of us through our own private pain in this loss. At funerals, when the minister opens some time for others to speak, it is often times only one or two people who opt to share. This day, however, was different and only one or two people DIDN'T speak. They were too overcome with emotion to do so but laughed, cried and shared with everyone. What had been 'scheduled' for about a 15 minutes service lasted more than an hour. Graciously, the funeral home allowed us to finish, which set us upon the pathway to healing. Grief is a most mysterious thing...and such may yet another post, just not for today.
Where was I when my neighbor died? I was in my deer stand hunting. I felt so guilty when I realized this! I wasn't doing anything of real value at that time, just scanning the woods and the internet via my Blackberry at that very moment. So many questions left unanswered, so much left to ponder about the sheer brevity of life. James 4:14 talks about this: "Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what will happen tomorrow. what is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air]." Amplified Bible In reading this passage, I am once again gently reminded by God of His vastness and my own frailty. Humbling to consider it all and how often this is taken for granted.
Life is truly a treasure, a gift to be opened and then given back to the One who gave it. I am so guilty of doing my own thing, going my own way and living my own life often without much consideration of the impact I may or may not have. Jesus affected every person He encountered on this earth. I can only hope to walk in His ways, and its only by His Grace that my steps begin again and again. He is so faithful to follow beside me, picking me up along the way and setting me back upon His pathway to real life. I often wonder why He does not grow tired of repeating such things.
Jesus dripped love and mercy, unwavered by obvious sin in those He came across each day. And it is with same undying love and mercy that we are to extend to others. Without judgement, He shared His great love and how passionate the Father is about is children. Why do we find this so difficult or, should I say, so easy to slip away from? With Him, all things are possible! Without Him, our struggles overwhelm us and choke out the very life He died to give us. Lately, I have found myself looking through those judgemental attitudes of my own, then wondering how Christ loves me so unreservedly, so passionately and so deeply.
Recently, I read a chat post from a Christian in another state who was participating in prayer vigil outside a newly opened abortion clinic. It was stated the purpose was for Christian's to pray there and the reason actually took me by surprise. Evidently, the purpose of this vigil was so the doctor would not feel welcome there and would pack up, moving somewhere else. I must admit how troubled my spirit is over such an action. What about that doctor's soul? What about his salvation and eternal fate? Did anyone think of him?
I guess the 'Christian' side of social justice is as flawed as the non-Christian ways. I can agree with wanting the killing of unborn children to stop and am glad there are people who are willing to step out in prayer, standing on the gap for those who cannot speak. And, I must admit, I wouldn't want an abortion clinic set up in my own back yard either. But who is praying for the doctor who performs those abortions? Who is praying for the nurses and other staff there? Are they any less worthy of God's Grace than I? I think not! Have we, as Christians, become so proud in our 'faith' that we are quick to stand up against wrong doing, denounce the sin so obvious in anothers actions but not once think of what sin in our own? Why do we have the 'us against them' mentality?
I was listening to the radio yesterday afternoon and the story about the Pharisee and the tax collector was read. It talked about how the Pharisee had gone to the temple to pray, ever thankful he was not like 'other men'. He wasn't a robber, an adulterer or other 'evil doer'. He thanked God that he fasted twice a week and paid his tithes. Oh how we, as Christian's, have become so religiously proud of ourselves! Proud in that we place ourselves above the lowly sinner, those lost in this world and are actually glad we aren't like that anymore.
Yet, what captured the heart of God was the tax collector as he prayed. He was so humbled by God's magnificence, he couldn't lift his head towards Heaven. His prayer was simple yet honestly aware of his condition, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner." And Jesus said, "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God." Luke 18:14 (NIV).
Oh God, forgive us, Lord for our pride! Heal our hearts from inner darkness, those places where we have yet to allow Your Light shine. Deliver us, Lord, from ourselves and cause us to walk before you with humble hearts, aware of our condition yet equally aware that, by Your Grace alone, we have life everlasting. God, allow Your Holy Spirit to convict us of judgemental attitudes, of reasoning our way of doing things as right and purify our motives. Let us seek You in all that we do, everything we set our hand to. But most of all, Jesus, work deeply in each of us so that Your love, Your mercy and Your Grace is seen within us. Let us be extensions of Christ, examples in every way so that You are lifted up. May You receive all the Glory God! Teach us to walk humbly before You, and give us wisdom, God, for discerning You in every moment of life. Let us have eyes to see and ears to hear! I pray God, for Your forgiveness, as I confess my faults before you, my sins are many but Your Grace is sufficient. I thank You, Lord, for Your mercy and Your love. Without you, God, I am indeed lost. But with You, Lord, is where I long to be, at Your feet, laying down everything. And once more, I surrender....
