We have experienced 4 lamb losses to date, which is a rare thing here. Many lambing seasons, we have batted a thousand and had all live births without losses. I guess that in in itself is more the exception than the rule but this year seems to be more difficult than previous years. In past seasons, we might lose 1 lamb or, at the most, 2 but never 4. Two lambs succumbed to the cold shortly after birth. I can only guess their mothers were not able to clean them fast enough to get them dry. Single digit temps INSIDE the barn can do that, I suppose. Another lamb was born prematurely, about 2 weeks early. Her mother did all she could but the lamb was not able to survive.
A fourth lamb lived 4 days before it became apparent he did not have the ability to poop for lack of a sufficient rectal opening. The vet calls this an 'incomplete colon' and basically it is the fact all of his pipes weren't connected all the way. As a shepherdess, I was the one who had to make the 'quality of life decision' rather than allow him to suffer in a slow, painful death of sepsis and possible rupture of his intestines. He was beginning to lie around and cry from time to time so I knew something was amiss. Once I discovered the problem, I knew it was not a good prognosis for him.
So, here I am driving to vet office, crying my eyeballs out for this little lamb. As I drive, I began to see a larger picture and how it relates to God, His flock and our responses to Him. If you are careful to pay attention, you can see Him in everything and this day was no exception. I began to see that we are also like this little lamb. We have a deadly condition called 'sin' and it will indeed result in death, darkness and eternal separation from God. Our incompleteness is our desperate need for a Savior for we are truly separated from the Father without Jesus.
We can live our lives for a little while but we begin to suffer, sometimes both in the physical as well as the ever present spiritual suffering without Christ. The number of days we have on this earth is not known to us. Life is but a vapor and we are never promised tomorrow. Every breath we take is numbered by the Lord and He alone holds our time on His hands. Some folks are on this earth for many, many years while others just moments before entering eternity. As the Great Shepherd, He often chooses mercy for those suffering and calls them home into His presence. But what about those who do not know Him?
I was listening to KP Yohannan recently (founder of Gospel for Asia) where he presented a staggering fact: It is estimated that 80,000 people die EVERY DAY without Jesus. I cannot hardly grasp that number of people. In his book, Revolution in World Missions, he offers this way of trying to take hold of such a number: Place your finger on your wrist, locating your pulse. Count how many beats your heart makes in one minute (you can also count for 15 seconds, then multiply by 4). Now close your eyes and try to see this with your spirit. Each heart beat is a soul, a person, one of God's children. And each beat represents a precious one dying lost in this world, without knowing Christ as their Savior. Can you grasp it now?
Just the other day, I broke down in tears again fully realizing my own humanity and flesh. I am convicted of being complacent and self-centered over and over. What I mean by self-centered is this: Any way of life other than that of Christ. Look at 1 John 2:4-6:
1 John 2:6 (Contemporary English Version) says, "If we say we are his, we must follow the example of Christ."
Throughout Scripture, Jesus released His own will into that of His father. He didn't do His own thing, live His own life or succumb to pursuing the American Dream. In fact, His life was indeed quite the opposite. He didn't own a house nor did He have land to build on. He didn't have worldly possessions or need to rent a storage building to hold His stuff. He had nothing to call His own, in worldly terms. But He possessed the priceless truth of real life, of intimately knowing the Father and willingly set aside His will for God's.
I want to be like Him and walk as He walked. Most days I see how far from that I truly am from that and it sickens me. Oh how it must frustrate my Lord watching me stumble along this road of life, missing His way so often. I pray He grants me mercy and continues pouring out the Grace I so desperately need. Oh, Jesus, please help me! I am so nothing without You. Don't give up on me, continue pursuing me as I reach out for truly knowing You.
Lord, it is my prayer that each of fully realize the call of God on our lives and pursue You with reckless abandon. Let us lay aside every weight as Your word says in Hebrews! Refresh and renew us Lord, give Your strength alone. May You, Dear Lord, be glorified!
Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!
Let it be so, Lord, amen!
